


My Journal

by Phanhasthetardis (orphan_account)



Series: My Journal Series [1]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-10
Updated: 2017-04-17
Packaged: 2018-09-23 07:57:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9647165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Phanhasthetardis
Summary: John Laurens had a journal filled with wonders. And you'd be surprised how easily wonders slip.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hey this is my most popular fanfiction on fanfiction.net so i hope you like it

I kept a journal.  
It held many things. Secrets, hopes, dreams, confessions.  
I made sure to keep it hidden. With the war these days, secrets don’t stay secret for long.  
I wrote in it every day. I hoped my feelings would change, but they were stubborn.  
I wish I didn’t feel these things. I felt horrible, abominable, disgusting. But I couldn’t change it.  
I went about my days feeling this, hiding it. Nobody could know. So I made sure to keep it hidden.  
But as I mentioned before, secrets don’t stay secret for long.

 

I had a nightmare. I woke up a sweaty mess in my room. It was early morning, and the sun had not risen yet.  
John.  
I was still shaking.  
I need you.  
I got dressed and went outside. It was a sunny morning, and the air had not warmed up from the cold night. The mailman came up to my house and handed me a letter. I went inside and sat down for a morning meal to read it.  
It read:

My Dear Laurens,

I read your letters to me. I must say with all honesty that I reciprocate your intimate feelings towards me. Please meet me at our usual spot at the pub at 10 in the evening tomorrow.  
With all love, AH

My heart thumped in my ears. I didn’t send him any letters. How did he know?  
I ran to my bedroom. I frantically searched for my journal. I looked in my old boot. That’s where I normally hid it.  
It was gone.  
My journal full of all of my secrets. Gone.  
I wrote in it last night. Someone had to have come in, known where it was, taken it, and given it to Alexander.  
And there was only two people in the world who knew where I hid my journal.  
I grabbed my coat and ran.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey go follow my tumblr @relateablesquish

I burst through the door panting.   
“HERCULES!” He was making himself tea and smugly looked over at me.  
I tackled him.  
I threw myself onto him with a large thump on the floor. “WHAT DID YOU DO WITH MY JOURNAL?!”  
Hercules looked at me with a look of terror. He pushed me off of him so we were both on the floor. His face went from shocked to guilty. “It’s difficult to explain.” he said. “Essentially, someone is blackmailing me. They have information they can hold against me, and they forced me to take your journal.”  
“Who is it?” I asked.  
“If I tell you, you will make it all the worse for all of us.”  
“Hercules, who is it?”  
He sighed regretfully.  
“Aaron Burr.”  
I burst out the door. Thoughts swarmed my head. Why is Aaron blackmailing Hercules? What does Aaron Burr want with my journal? How does he even know of my journal?   
It hit me.   
Aaron wants to ruin Alexander.   
Aaron wants to use my journal against both Alexander and me. And my journal is the perfect way to do so.  
I ran to Alexander’s house. My head pounded. Aaron Burr will not expose us.   
I burst into the room. Alexander was pacing, thinking. I ran to him, panting. He took me into his arms, and I let myself be embraced. I looked up at him, and before I could process it all I could see were his eyes. Alexander’s eyes.   
I loved this man.   
“Aaron is...going...to try and...expose us…” I panted. “Don’t...go to the pub.”  
“John, whatever is the matter?” He said to me. “Gather yourself first, then tell me.”  
We sat down. “Aaron is blackmailing Hercules. Aaron made Hercules steal my journal. That’s where the letters came from. You weren’t meant to see them. Aaron is planning to use my journal and those letters to expose us. You’ll be ruined.”  
We sat in silence.  
“There’s only one thing we can do.” Alexander said.  
“What’s that?”  
“Get him back.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello sorry i didn't die

“How do we do that Alexander?”  
He looked down, deep in thought. “Well, what does Aaron have that we can use against him?”  
We both attempted to brainstorm possibilities, and-  
“Theodosia.” I said.  
“What?”  
“Theodosia. Remember how Aaron let it slip that he was with a married woman?”  
We let the idea wash over us. Theodosia.  
“What if we wrote a letter to Theodosia pretending to be Aaron, telling her to go to the pub when we were supposed to.”  
We silently acknowledge the mastery of the plan.   
To fully understand the plan, I said to Alexander, “So, if I understand correctly, we will send a letter to Theodosia pretending to be Aaron. The letter will say to go to the pub at 10 o’clock tomorrow. Then, Aaron will most likely get a large group of people, planning to expose us, but will see his dear Theodosia.”  
Alexander smiled. “Precisely! He will unexpectedly expose himself!”  
“Well what are we waiting for? Let’s get started.” I said.

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Alexander and I sat in the opposite corner, far away, hidden from Theodosia’s view. The pub’s clock struck 9, and Aaron Burr walked in. He immediately looked to our usual seat, correctly assuming it to be vacant. He took a seat in view of the usual table. As the hour was passing, Alexander and I could see Aaron growing more and more anxious. Then, when it was five minutes to 10, Theodosia walked in.   
Aaron spat out his drink in the corner.  
She went to the table she was told to in the letter.   
Aaron sure did take a good seat, because he was in clear sight of Theodosia. Of course, Aaron couldn’t be seen in public, with a married woman, in a pub. He had to find a way to get out without Theodosia seeing him. He scrambled out of his seat, attempted to walk behind a large group of people, but failed. He casually took another seat in clear view of Theodosia. They made eye contact, and Aaron motioned for her to meet her outside. They met at the middle of the room and-  
George Washington walked in with an air of authority. Thomas Jefferson and James Madison followed close behind. The room was still, everyone staring at the renowned general. General Washington looked to Aaron Burr. He was still with Theodosia. In a pub. Without her husband. Late at night.   
The general thought to himself. Aaron and Theodosia looked scared and guilty. Washington looked over to his men behind him.   
“Get him.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> y does everyone like my other stories like this one is my favorite idk man

Thomas Jefferson grabbed Theodosia, who struggled to go to Aaron. James Madison regretfully grabbed Aaron and muttered “Sorry” under his breath. Aaron pushed against James to get to his Theodosia. He sobbed and fought away. Thomas and James forcefully dragged them apart. When they all realized it was hopeless, the struggle ended.   
Alexander and I have been in the corner this whole time.   
George Washington said “Escort these two outside back to their house separately. We’ll deal with the scandal in the morning.”  
Aaron was fuming. “You don’t understand! John Laurens and Alexander Hamilton were supposed to be here! I told you! Please here me out!” Theodosia cried softly while being walked out.   
George looked around, searching for something, someone. He found us in the corner, and walked over. “Aaron told me you’d be here. I won’t go into detail as to what Aaron disclosed. Because of what has happened here today I will be forgiving.” And with that he walked away.   
Alexander and I got up to leave, and I found my journal at the table Aaron Burr was seated at. Hamilton was waiting for me at the exit. Everyone else had left to see what was happening with Aaron and Theodosia. Hamilton and I were the only two in the pub. `  
So I ran to him.   
I kissed him.   
I felt all shame, all negativity wash away. This was right. This was me. I loved this man, and nothing could change who I was.   
We walked home to Alexander’s house together. It was dark, so nobody could see us. I pulled myself close to him as we walked home.   
When we arrived at his house, we shared a bed. We made sure the door was locked, and the curtains were closed. I looked into Alex’s eyes as he guided me to the bed.   
We didn’t have sex, we just fell asleep together. He brushed his soft fingers through my hair. And that’s how I fell asleep.   
At 2 o’clock in the morning, there was a knock at the door.   
Hercules and Lafayette stood, crying.   
“Aaron Burr.” Lafayette said, comforting Hercules. “He’s planning to ruin us.”


End file.
